I am a black ops field agent assigned to take out the most dangerous terrorists in the world. Alone. Armed with only a bow and arrow, a Red Rider BB gun, and a buck knife, I am to take down Al Qaeda. I chose these specific weapons for their stealth and ease of use, and with them I am going to take out Osama Bin Laden and his henchmen. They have established their base on the side of a cottage on Thompson Lake, where they are no doubt hatching evil schemes to take over the world, and cripple the United States. I am the world’s only hope for peace and freedom, a position I do not take lightly.
I move silently through the woods and into a good position where I can pick off each of Bin Laden’s henchmen with my BB gun. A specially made BB gun, it is capable of firing BB’s at over ten million miles per hour, and inject a fast acting poison when the BB’s hit their target, ensuring death. I get in position, lying prone on a flat boulder that gives me a perfect view of the enemy, though not allowing them to see me. I look through my scope at the base, and adjust the sights slightly to make sure that I am getting the best shot. I see several cans that rest on top of a torn-up deer target and quickly realize that Bin Laden has shrunk his henchmen down to the size of soda cans and then put them into costume to look like soda cans. “Very clever, Bin Laden,” I think to myself, but at the same time this creates some concern; they know that I’m coming. I fire several BB’s in rapid succession of each other and each BB hits a “can” which tumbles down to the ground hundreds of feet below.
An alarm sounds, and I know that their bodies have been found, and it is only a matter of time before they find me. I dismount the boulder, and as quickly and as quietly as I can, and run to garage and sneak around the side, getting even closer to my enemy. I set up an new position from which I can take out Bin Laden’s henchmen. I see through the scope that the torn-up deer target is yet another ruse by Bin Laden to try to trick me. He’s not as clever as his file said he was. I get ready to fire another barrage of BB’s into the “target,” but my gun jams. Ugh. This is going to be much harder than I thought. I take out my bow and nock an arrow on the string. I am using a bow that has a draw of a thousand pounds, and each arrow is tipped with a special poison that paralyzes the enemy and thins their blood, causing them to bleed out faster. I pop out from behind the garage, a center that I believe Al Qaeda is using for intel, and fire. The first arrow misses its mark, and I return to my hiding spot. I am furious with myself, I may have just given away my position. I peer around the corner to see if my enemy has reacted, and lucky for me, he has not. I nock another arrow and pop out from the corner and fire. I hit my target, and it sways. I must have killed one, but there are at least three more inside of it. I reload and fire, hitting it again. I roll forward and on one knee, I reload and fire again. The “target” continues to sway but even more so now. There is only one henchmen left inside of the deer target costume. I reload and fire a final time, which hits the target and falls, but after releasing, my bowstring breaks.
Bin Laden knows that I only have a knife left for him. A knife that is as sharp as a shark’s tooth, and handed down through generations, I am about to use the same knife as George Washington to kill Osama Bin Laden. I hide behind a tree, and see another “target” behind the “deer.” Remembering Bin Laden’s file, I recall that he sometimes turns himself into a target to try to fool potential assassins. Not this time. I let out a mighty yell and rush at the target. I unsheath my knife and drive it right through the center of “the target.”
I’ve done it. I have singlehandedly taken out both Osama Bin Laden and the rest of Al Qaeda. I beam with pride, then go into the cottage to grab a bathing suit. This hero needs a swim in Thompson Lake to cool down.
David Enyedy 15